A meandering post on avoiding stagnation

Image source: Pixabay

DISASSOCIATION

It’s been a hot minute since I’ve felt like myself. I pinpoint this disassociation with my identity to when I got sick about three weeks ago. I’ve no idea why I didn’t just feel ill but also seemed to be standing beside myself, not quite able to make my actions align with the me I usually am. Writing suffered, reading became sluggish days on end, and my free time wasn’t always spent the way I would like. It seemed it wasn’t just my nose that was plugged, but my entire identity was suffering a sinus infection.

Last night my mind began to spark back to life. As I drove home from work shortly before midnight, glimmers of myself flashed in the dark. I am not fully aflame by any means, but the sparks have hit the kindling of my prefered mode of being — a mode I would love to say is my default self, but alas, I’ve cultivated the prefered me through hard work and must work harder still to continue with the endless journey away from stagnation. Nonetheless, while not burning yet bright, I can say sickness and disassociation recede by the minute.

WRITING UPDATE

The writer’s group I helped start and run has now had ahold of The Brick twice, so far scrutinizing parts of the first chapter. I’ve been asking for structural edits and have enjoyed the feedback. My special pleasure is in seeing the reactions of readers who haven’t read anything like my writing in this book. My expected pleasure is in hearing what my bestie, Mike, has to say about this book I’ve been writing with him in mind as my ideal audience.

Two unfortunate things have impacted the group: 1) Mike has been having to work Thursday nights when our group meets. He and I work at the same hotel, and we are in desperate need of another desk clerk. Right now it’s affecting us both, creating a situation where neither of us can have the same night off, and since I run the writing club, it’s I who gets Thursday evenings off. 2) The writer’s group has lost at least two people who found the group intimidating, as if we’re too professional for amateurs. This seems odd to me, as while three of us have put our work out there, we’re by no means acclaimed authors or even making a living at stacking words into book-shaped products. It is perhaps the very advice we dispense in our critique group that intimidates. That would be more understandable; I can see an unpublished writer feeling they have nothing of value to offer to the group . . . though I’d think having insightful readers would be a plus for amateur writers attending a critique group, not a negative. Whatever it is that’s made a couple of intimidated writers jump ship, in the future I hope to convey the need for input from all levels of readers and writers. After the first meeting, I purposefully left off mentioning my credentials as a writer and influencer in the writing community and did not notice any casual flaunting of C.V.s, so I am left guessing what it is about us regulars that feels intimidating to some of our newbies.

Writing with baby is sometimes tough, sometimes not. She doesn’t seem to have a consistent napping schedule, but doctors and baby books are suggesting that she should. If she did, it’d make writing a whole heck of a lot easier during the day. Her grumpy bouts haven’t helped matters; Cora really would rather be held facing out while I walk her around. That’s her favorite. The girl really needs to learn to crawl so she can explore the world herself — not that a baby on the go would make writing any easier!

Cora helping Daddy with laundry.

My goal is to write weekday evenings for a couple of hours no matter how well or poorly writing went during the day. However, because of our need for another desk clerk at work and scheduling oddities with a part-timer, I’ve been working at least two weekday evenings. Before this, I was working only weekends and often (but not always) one weekday evening. So my intentions aren’t matching up with my reality, though it’s no fault of my own.

READERS AND WRITERS NOVELTY HUB

I’ve been selling awesome, bookish merch on Amazon for a while, but I’ve decided to move my focus to a standalone store. To mitigate costs, I’ve kept it simple and without branding and logos. So head on over to Readers and Writers Novelty Hub to find something for yourself or the bookish caffeine addict in your life.

PROJECTS AND SELF-IMPROVEMENT

I alluded above and in my blog post The Paternal To-do of 2022 to what basically amounts to self-improvement. I’ve made some nice jabs at cultivating a lifestyle, but I’ve yet to make any strong stabs at escaping stagnation. To do this, I need to do more than cultivate my environment for the preferred me, but I need to push myself.

I grant, I’ve been learning to parent as a stay-at-home dad these past several months. And Cora herself is in continual flux, meaning I’m continually adjusting to her. So what I have been doing is laying the groundwork for pushing myself. This involves picking up some projects I’ve laid aside and heaving a few hefty self-improvement goals at myself. In the next couple of weeks, I’ll be going in 100%. For me, this is an all or nothing kind of deal. I want this life to be the best for me and my family, and this means not letting myself get stuck wanting and waiting to do certain things but actually setting the groundwork and then doing it. I’m quite happy with both the inner work and external work it’s taken to get me here, nearly ready to journey even further away from stagnation on that endless blooming path of potential.

Image source: Pixabay

NEW PUBLICATION – Bright Moon Over Lover’s Bridge

Image credit: tikaderjoyj – Pixaby

I forgot to make an individual blog post for when it came out, but my short story “Bright Moon Over Lover’s Bridge” has been published in the Anansi Archive Anthology, Vol. 1. You can currently read it online or purchase the book on Amazon.

This story was the first one I wrote after meeting my then future wife, Libby. I remember her thinking it was quite good. I also had a couple of rejection letters that praised its aesthetic, but they rejected it anyway. The one I remember clearly was a moon-themed anthology, and I think my piece turned out being very different than any of the others – more artsy and less hard genre. Like many of my favorite pieces of writing, this one took a while to find a home. And I’m happy to see it found a home both in print and online.

I’ve also been working with a friend at one of the local public libraries to create a new writing critique group. I’m really excited to not only read the work of others with a constructively critical eye (something that always invigorates me) but to also start sharing excerpts of the novel I’ve been working on for years now. I’ve been spending a lot of time editing it, really cleaning it up for my beta readers. I know I’ll have even tougher work to do with one of the later chapters that I believe will need a lot of rewriting due to a misguided attempt at a tonal shift that I don’t think paid off in the end.

I’m still working at the hotel. The company is trying to sweeten the position, but . . . well, there’s other prospects that look enticing. Though nothing can beat this job’s usual atmosphere, there comes a time when more than doubling one’s income looks like the better option. But we’ll see.

The Paternal To-do of 2022

Pixabay – Amigos3D

I stretched awake one Monday morning sometime in late September and decided that I’d take the week off to tackle a backlogged to-do list. With the due date of my first child looming on the near horizon, there were things I had to get done before she was born and other things I certainly wouldn’t have time to do once she was here. This list included baby things (washing all of our little girl’s new clothes, reminding my wife to order a breast pump through her insurance, packing my hospital bag, making space in the kitchen cupboards for her baby supplies, installing car seats, etc.) and things not directly about baby (replacing the brakes on my car and getting the radiator flushed plus the interior detailed, reorganizing emergency supplies, figuring out my insurance due to a change of ownership at work, getting the dry cleaning done, scheduling myself an eye exam, taking the dog to the groomers, and having the dog spayed due to a false pregnancy lasting over a month), plus myriad other items I’m not remembering on top of the usual cooking and cleaning, online birthing classes and doctor’s visits, Hello, Author reading, and my relaxing evening book time.

Pixabay – bohed

Luckily, most of the major baby things (like flipping the guest room into a nursery) had been taken care of well before this “week” of to-do list tackling. Nonetheless, that week stretched into over a month. My to-do list not only took me longer to accomplish than I expected, but it seemed to grow with new additions by each Friday’s end. I finally slowed down, finished reading a fantastic western by Oakley Hall, and picked up my book for future dads only to learn that the next thing I’d likely do is tackle any to-do projects I’d been putting off. Apparently this is the paternal version of nesting, and I’d been nesting hard.

Well, that to-do listing last pretty much until the day our daughter was born. And since then, it’s been baby bootcamp. Well, also baby cuddle time.

So, uh, am I ever gonna get back to writing? Perhaps. It’s 2022 and I’ve got the same old things on my plate: write, edit, consider consistently posting to social media. But I’m also looking for a new job. Yes, babies cost a lot of money—so considering a new line of work wasn’t off the table—but my current job provides me with the perfect hours to avoid the need for shipping our bundle of cute and poop off to daycare. My current job is ideal really. Well, it was, until I caught wind of potential position that would more than double my family’s income and provide more or less commensurate hours. Still, I love this job and how darn easy it is. Easy except for when the customers try to kill you.

Yep, you read that right. Easy except for when the customers try to kill you. A guy went after me with a knife last Sunday. Why? Because we were out of hard boiled eggs. He got up in my face and was like What you gonna do about it? I told him I’d make some more (I normally wouldn’t so close to closing, but whatever). Well, instead of waiting for fresh and delicious eggs, he decided to curse at me and the hotel with some very crude language. At this point I told him he had 15 minutes to pack up his room and leave the property. He got quiet then, and a cold countenance turned the previously angry face into a violent nothingness. I started stepping back and watched as a knife flip open in his pocket.

At this point everything happened rather fast. Through some instinct, I contorted my body in a way to keep my soft parts as far from him as possible and had my arms way out in front of me, all the while apparently moving back toward the office door where I could lock myself inside. I also screamed “I’m sorry!” which paused his advance just long enough for me to get inside the door without harm.

The man was crazy. He began crying and giving me a sob story about being homeless for the past three weeks. I did not end up pressing charges so that he could spend his time talking to mental health counselor instead of in jail, which, yes he deserved, but which also wouldn’t have helped him. Yeah, the man needs to not do these kinds of things, but he’ll continue to do them until he gets some sort of mental health help.

Pixabay – teeveesee

If only this wasn’t the only incident in 2021. Since I began this job over seven years ago, I’ve met my fair share of belligerent, crazy, and downright rude people. I’ve also met some super sweet folk. The fact that not only coworkers, but four guests gave gifts when Cora was born proves that there’s more good than bad here. But my life is worth more than $12 an hour. And it wasn’t too many months ago that a guy I told to get packing did pack away everything but his gun. Instead of entering his room when it was evident that he was still in there, I decided to call the police. While I did not know he had a gun, something told me the mother fucker was in there waiting to shoot me. I was right. The first thing the police did when they entered his room was ask him why he was sitting there with a gun. He had his bag ready to go and his gun ready to go off. Yeah, a real nice piece of human trash. Reason I was kicking him out: he was attempting to pick fights with other guests.

I love this place but, if I’m realistic, I could have died over hard boiled eggs. HARD BOILED EGGS. Fuck that. I’m done.

Pixabay – Clker-Free-Vector-Images

So now I have the prospect of a new job plus all the time and energy that goes into raising a baby. But I do intend to get back to writing. I already know I’ll be spending less time than before on my novels and short stories. Not only because of job and baby, but because it’s a new year. It’s 2022 and, if I’m being honest with myself, I’m not the person I want to be. There’s things about myself I want to work on beyond my creative output. And, in fact, I’m putting that first. Because I can’t be happy with me or even with me as a successful writer until those aspects of my potential I haven’t honed are indulged. So I’m going to indulge in myself this year. I’m going to make my baby girl proud to have me as her father. I want the dad she’ll come to known to be a different man than the one I am now.

And I already know this is going to be a great year. My first email of 2022 was an acceptance letter for Bright Moon Over Lover’s Bridge. So let’s celebrate the beginning of this new year with a book and a beverage. Cheers!

Pixabay – succo

Writer’s Nightmare: My Office Flooded!!!

CLICK TO WATCH

My office flooded. Water came through the wall of a basement shelf in the storage room and streamed into my office. It was a mess that took days and industrial fans to dry. The carpet looked only mildly damp, but the reality I didn’t realize until later was that the matting underneath actually soaked up gallons and gallons of water. Perhaps that’s good, since all of that liquid could have pooled in my office, wreaking even more havoc in my little writerly world.

The office is now set to right, and has been for some time. For whatever reason, this setback kept me from scripting and filming Youtube videos for a while. Before the flooding, I had plans to upload something monthly. Well, months passed, and I hadn’t even uploaded what I’d shot and edited of the deluge. Perhaps it was the flooding combined with the stressors of COVID, the lead-up to the election, the attack on the Capitol, plus personal life issues that made me put off this supplemental project, which is truly just for fun and tangential to my writing. What I didn’t put off was Hello, Author (my author interview newsletter) which I had began working on in early December and launched in January. While it’s also quite fun, Hello, Author also brings immediate value to the writing community and those whom I interview. And that’s more important to me than making videos for myself.

But if you’re interested in seeing what I’ll be creating (I’m a newbie, so please be forgiving!), do check out the video, liking and subscribing while you’re there. Future videos will include monologues, writing vlogs, my publication journey, and dramatic readings of my work. And who knows what else. Once I get going, I’m sure the ideas will stream forth like water from my basement wall.

Thanks for reading my blog and watching my Youtube videos. Keep it creative, Bookworms.

WIP Wednesday #7: Pandemical Output

Work in Progress

It seems that a lot of people are finding life hard right now. They’re stuck at home, can’t socialize, and many have other worries (lost jobs, long lines at food banks, bored children who can’t hang with their friends). This event—caused by the novel coronavirus, a biological entity spreading as a sickness known to the world by the name of COVID-19—as a sociological phenomena has affected me mildly. So I’ve been putting off writing anything about it here on my website (though my personal journal is full of reflections).

Little Girl Social Distancing Dolls

Capture from a video of my niece’s dolls social distancing in the yard.

One of the things that social distancing has taught me is that I don’t socialize. It really hasn’t changed my social life whatsoever. The biggest social difference is that I’m no longer meeting up with Mike for our working meetings (we’re creating scripts for a literary YouTube channel we hope to get off the ground at some point).  Although this itself doesn’t feel odd, since we only started doing them about 3 weeks before #SocialDistancing became a thing.

My wife, however, has been feeling the changes more acutely than I. She’s a school teacher, so she’s been working from home, doing Zoom video meetings regularly.
Iowa law does not currently allow virtual learning to count toward minimum hours required each school year. So my wife’s district has been creating voluntary homework. It’ll be corrected, but not graded, for those students who choose to do it (AKA for those kids whose parents make them do it).

Not Study Game
I must say, having Libby at home has been generally nice. While different, it does not feel particularly novel. After all, she is home pretty much all day during the summer. Summer just came early, while snow still kept repeatedly gracing the ground with its annoying clinginess. #FuckSnow #MeltAlready

We also happen to live in one of the few states without a mandatory stay-at-home order (and I work in Nebraska, which also lacks blanket pandemic measures). So things don’t feel as locked down as they probably do elsewhere in the country. The hotel I work at has slowed down quite a lot; it seemed the summer construction season was ramping up early before the virus appeared on our shores. Nevertheless, we’ve been holding our own. Also, because of our status as a housing facility, I think we’re considered essential business, so it’s likely that even if Pete Ricketts began implementing draconian measures to help save the lives of citizens under his governorship, our business would continue to operate as long as employees were staying healthy.
So if there’s financial hardship headed my family’s way, we’ve yet to see it. With the stimulus check landing in our savings account last week, we’re actually coming out ahead.

I think the most stressing part of all this (outside of the copious amount of hand sanitizer and bleach water I’m using while at work) is seeing the president attempt to rewrite history, push conspiracy theories, cut off funding from WHO, and (most recently) make a call for citizens to rise up against state governments (specifically of Democrat governors; Republican led states doing the same thing aren’t the target of his presidential tweets).

Check out Randal's current sole political essay on Medium

This is highly distressing. It simply boggles my mind how such a horrible human being and incompetent “leader” can possibly be in charge right now.  With another weak Democratic candidate as the only option left (well, I guess we’ll see if the unofficial write-in-Bernie movement gets serious by the time November rolls around) I’m afraid it’ll be four more years of the Orange Buffoon. Hopefully his transparent ploy to save the economy by duping people into thinking it’s okay to get back to normal before the transmission rate gets close to zero (the Fed guidelines are only asking for a 2-week downward trend, which isn’t what health officials had suggested as a sign for reopening the economy). Of course, without adequate testing, there’s no way to know for sure if any place is ready. Is the trend really down or are our testing supplies in such inadequately short supply that we’re guessing based on wholly incomplete data? But the Liar in Chief continues to think the public and reporters are too dumb to realize that we don’t have enough tests. Only his ardent cult followers believe him and whatever tumbles out of the screen from Fox News (#fauxnews).

And by the time this scheduled post goes up, who knows what other insane set of alternative facts or devastating decisions that Trump, the Great American Traitor, will let issue forth from his frog’s mouth.

Politics were slightly less stressful for me the first three weeks of social distancing at the beginning of March because I didn’t have time to catch more than a handful of soundbites on the radio. Why? because I was writing. Yes, I was actually writing quite a lot. I found a publisher for a piece called Christ Abyss and so began the process of taking a draft, adding and editing until it turned into a short novella or novelette. I sent it in to the transgressive publisher on the 31st, though I suspect it could have been better (a beta reader got back to me only recently with some great suggestions), but that was the deadline.  I don’t know if you’d term it a dark fantasy or horror fantasy or an anti-heaven tourism novel, but it’s not written for righteous among us.

Whatever it is, it had my full attention for those three weeks—despite being just about done with draft 1 of my novel and having just downloaded new software for editing the video footage I filmed for a “Write with Me” style YouTube video.

Order of events: I wrote the damned novella, took a week off from everything except our new Nintendo Switch (okay, this is the other biggest change that the coronavirus has thus far brought to our lives; I haven’t owned a gaming system since 2005), and then finally finished draft 1 of the novel last Thursday. Yes siree, the zero draft I completed on December 3rd has finally been fully transferred into an edited digital first draft.

My goal was to write a sorta bigger book (no Moby Dick, but hopefully something bigger than the standard 80K). I thought I would probably hit somewhere between 120 to 126 thousand words for my first draft. My hope was to then expand this during my edits, adding scenes, better detail, etc. Then, in all likelihood, I would see it trimmed back down to about the original length after my future publisher’s editor got done hacking it to pieces revising it.

My final word count came to 173,499 words. That’s over 47 thousand more words than I expected to get. And I’d love to see this word count even higher when I get to work on draft 2. I don’t think I will see it rise more than 5 or 10 thousand words, but if for some reason I managed to add enough to get my #FutureMasterpiece above the 200K word mark, I’ll treat myself to a fancy steakhouse dinner (assuming the local steakhouses find the means and meat to reopen after America gets its herd immunity—I mean its mass vaccinations).

Steak (Simpsons)

My next task is to dive back into the remainder of my unedited dialogues. I’m sure that I’m waaay behind where I should have been with these, but that’s the writing life for ya. You get creatively distracted. You get bogged down by life or lifted away into a book (when will I learn that I can’t read fiction in the mornings if I want to get any writing done?). Your muse sometimes says you must muster your writerly might for more material matters (for example: an alliterative blog post).

I also don’t know how attentive I’ll be on my AuthorTube channel; whatever pleasure and practical gains I get from it can’t compare to the simple act of writing & creating story. On top of that, it begins to look nice enough out for sitting around outdoors in the evenings with a book. Maybe I’ll make a goal of one video a month for now (though don’t hold me to it). Other than putting off the unessential, I’ve also taken some stabs at starting a new novel. The proper way to begin is eluding me. What I think I need to do is actually sit down and plot this book. I’ve never plotted before. And since my attempts at not plotting this thing have petered out, it’s time I take the plunge into the twisty waters of plotting. Wish me the best of luck! #WriteOn

Please stay healthy, happy, & word-nerdy, Bookworms.

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[An earlier version of this post incorrectly stated that requiring online education was illegal in Iowa. This post was updated to reflect more accurate language around virtual education in this state.]

2020 Author Goals

2020 Author Goals.jpg

One of the things to remember when setting goals is that less is more. If I want more productivity, then I take more off my plate rather than add to it whilst budgeting my time into complex micro-amounts in an attempt to tackle it all. With this said, last year was a year of focusing on my novel. This year I want so much more. We’ll see if I can have a lot more without breaking my goal-setting rule of less is more.

Writing Goals. 
My goals for this year include editing my completed novel, editing my dialogues, and to work on two new novels.

Whoa, Randal, that’s way too much. When you said you wanted “so much more,” we didn’t expect your “more” to be that much more than last year.

Okay, yes, I admit this doesn’t look like a run-of-the-mill full plate, but an over-the-top heaping plate. However, I have a plan.
Daily Routine.
I intend to tackle all of my writing goals this year by splitting my weekdays into two manageable chunks.

I really wanted to work on editing my dialogues last year, but I rarely got around to touching them. I think this is largely due to the fact that I intended to make evenings my editing time. These intentions were thwarted by my enjoyment of evening reading, chores, and spending time with my wonderful wife. So now I know that if I want to actually edit what I’ve written, I need to edit during the day.

The daily routine will consist of half writing and then half editing. I’ll spend half the time working on a new novel and then the other half of the day editing, using lunch as a mental reset button.
Specifics.
Starting next week, I’ll begin outlining a new novel. And, yes, I said outlining. I know what I want my next novel to be, and it’s going to require a little more plotting than the last two novels. We’ll see how this goes. I’m a little leery of plotting since I feel that the weakest parts of my last novel were the ones I most heavily outlined. In the end I may just plunge into composition, but I’m going to try and start with a framework if possible.

For editing, my priority is to finish typing up the hand-written zero draft of my recently completed novel. Once I’ve done that, I will set it aside and work on my dialogues, both so I can actually finish editing them and so that I can come back to my novel with fresh eyes.

Weekends.
I don’t always utilize weekends to their full advantage. I have a weekend job that—while not exactly a sinecure—gives me a lot of free time to devote to whatever I want. What I want most of the time is to binge YouTube. However, I also read, socialize, and even write during this time. In fact, everything I’ve ever written at work was published within days. So quality doesn’t seem to suffer. Still, the easier pleasure is YouTube, and I have freely indulged.

Adjusting how I use my weekends is perhaps my biggest 2020 author goal. The adjustment to my daily routine is simply a matter of learning to shift focus. Changing how I spend my time while at work on weekends is not just a shift of focus, but will be a total shift in behavior. I’ve trained myself pretty well at seeing weekends as a time to plug into the internet. Outside of livestreaming my writing, I pretty much avoid being online during the weekdays. If I avoid going online at home, I can avoid going online at work, right? Well, we’re about to find out how easy it is to retrain this lazy habit I’ve built for myself.

So what am I going to be doing with my weekends? Answer: I want to try an experiment.

You may have noticed that in my writing goals above I mentioned working on two novels. The experiment involves one of these.

An idea popped into my head shortly before Christmas for an experimental novel built around a refrain. This book is really calling to me to be written. I do feel it’s important to write something a bit more accessible, which is what my weekday novel will be; yet, I don’t think I should ignore this pull I feel towards this strange narrative. So in order to make sure I’m not just writing hard-to-sell experimental works, but also not ignoring my creative impulses, I’ll be working on the refrain book during the weekends.

The experimental part of this weekend project isn’t just the fact that it’s an “experimental” book. I am kind of comfortable with experimental writing at this point. For me, the experiment is to try and write a novel solely on the weekends and to also try and write the zero draft on my work computer, using something like Google Docs perhaps. I’m going digital on this one for convenience’ sake (no lugging my laptop, no forgetting a physical manuscript or flash drive).

Social Media. 
To stream or not to stream, that is the question. 

Okay, so I finished writing my latest novel while livestreaming, which was really cool. But I’m not sure I want to continue to stream while I write.

Here’s what I like about streaming while writing:
1) It’s totally motivating to get in as many hours at the desk as possible.
2) I take shorter coffee breaks because I have an audience to entertain.
3) It’s a pretty unique thing to do.
4) By watching me write for hours and hours, I can hopefully inspire other creatives to devote time productively, helping them to quit their own procrastination by joining me while I write.

Here’s what I don’t like about streaming while writing:
1) I haven’t found a feasible way to use my standing desk while livestreaming, though this certainly isn’t an insurmountable problem, just a technical one.
2) The quality of my writing goes down due to distraction from my viewers.
3) While I am grateful for the viewers, especially my regulars, I am not actually reaching the audience of creatives (especially fellow writers) I am specifically creating content for, which in the ends means I am doing more chatting and much less actual writing than I’d like.
4) By far this is the biggest issue: I am struggling to get into the flow or the zone. I don’t think flow is necessary for writing—even good writing. However, flow not only feels good, it is a sign that one is in a state of intense concentration and growth. In some sense, it is necessary to be striving toward flow because this is the main signal of overcoming the obstacles of the kind of striving that makes you grow as a person. I believe that achieving this kind of flow is necessary to living well. But with people dropping by to chat and ask questions (and maybe even to donate a dollar or two), that flow state isn’t reached for me. If I’m not reaching a state of flow ever, it’s possible I’m failing to grow as an author and as a person.

It’s mainly due to the last point that I feel that my experiment with livestreaming while writing on Twitch is probably over. Nonetheless, I am entertaining an attempt at livestreaming on YouTube. The audience may be more receptive of things that failed to garner positive attention on Twitch, such as my silent writing streams. However, even with an audience of authors, I’ll still have an audience to engage with, meaning that flow isn’t likely going to be achieved.

Speaking of YouTube, I still want to keep making YouTube videos (aka: AuthorTube videos). It’s the addition of these kinds of social media projects that start to make my plate feel full. Luckily, I don’t feel like I’ll ever consider my main job to be creating video content, meaning that this can be done on an as-I-desire-to basis.

Mondays are usually a day off for me when it comes to writing. So I think that if I want to make a video, Monday will be great for recording and/or editing. I have a long way to go when it comes to creating good looking and sounding videos. Strangely, the YouTube video I uploaded looks and sounds fine when I play it on my laptop. But it doesn’t seem nearly as good when I play it on my work computer. So I have some more adjustments to make before I do my next recording. And while I don’t expect perfection of myself, I’m hoping that with each new video, the quality will continue to increase.

And, while I’m trying not to overdo it, I’m also still working on an educational YouTube concept. We have multiple people involved in this project, including an amateur filmmaker, so quality won’t be the issue it is with my personal videos. The biggest hurdle we have had is in the script writing.

We started out writing scripts for one conception for the show. The concept was fine, but as we continued to talk, the idea grew and became something else. Me and the other script writer were not satisfied with what we wrote for the new concept, so we tabled the idea for a long while. Well, I recently revamped the idea once again and will be writing a new script and presenting it sometime this month. There’s no guarantee that we’ll all like it and agree to green light the project, but I’m hopeful.

Like I said, this is possibly too much for my little mantra, but at the same time it’s something my best friend and I have wanted to do for a long time, and I can’t pass up the opportunity for collaboration—a rarity for book authors like me.

giving you books

Let’s see, editing two completed books, writing two new novels, plus creating content for two YouTube channels . . . Less is more. But more is also more. I’m giving you four books and (hopefully) some AuthorTube content. And I’m giving myself a reasonable schedule, which is why less is more is still my motto for productivity.

Please do let me know your 2020 author (or creative) goals. How do you manage your time? Have you been successful at reaching your goals in the past? Does the concept of less is more ring true for you? Let me know in the comments.

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All photos from Pixabay or remixed from Pixabay unless otherwise stated.

Literary Listening

Literary Listening

Today I’ve decided to do something fun by giving you a Literary Listening list, which includes podcasts, steaming radio, and YouTube. If you’re a book lover like I am, but also someone who enjoys book talk like I do, then these programs might be worth checking out.

I decided to do this blog post after I asked for literary podcast recommendations in my Literary Fiction Writers group on Facebook (if you write lit fic, please join us!). From the interest the post generated and the lack of submissions from the group, I realized that either we’re all reading books all of the time or, more likely, we writers are just as prone as everyone else to binging on (let’s face it) social media garbage. So, if we can’t always turn to books, at least we can entertain ourselves with something intelligent. And while there is actually plenty of great content online for learning science, art, history, and whatnot, this is a literary blog, so it’s my Literary Listening list and not my other brain-expanding lists I’ll be sharing today.  On this list are things I listen to and watch when I’m in the mood for book talk. There’s also programs I recently discovered and enjoyed. Some of these are well-known, others are not. So, in no particular order:

  1. The History of Literature Podcast

    I think I discovered this podcast waaaay back when only a couple of episodes were released. I promptly forgot about it and am quite surprised that I didn’t discover it again earlier. I’ve listened to couple of episodes this week and I really like the content. It’s informative, informal, and the host’s voice is soothing.
    It looks like the podcast covers individual books, authors’ oeuvres, and short stories with a smattering of interviews and other topics of literary interest.

  2. It’s Lit

    This PBS produced show features Lindsay Ellis, a YouTube-famous video essayist. On her own channel she covers mostly the big screen. But in It’s Lit, she talks books. These videos are binge-worthy short, and you can probably spend an easy evening watching them all. The animation is good if a little dorky, and the same can be said of the topics Ellis covers.

  3. Bookworm

    Hosted by Michael Silverblatt, this KCRW produced radio program is all about the author. Featuring interviews with authors for over the last two decades, this show is a treasure trove of the talented and the famous. If you’re interested in hearing one of the most well-read interviewers speak with great novelists, poets, and even some of our great essayists, then this show is a must for you.

  4. The Book Chemist

    Mattia Ravasi loves to talk about books. On his YouTube channel you’ll find book reviews, a deep read of Gravity’s Rainbow, and more. I like to watch his channel both to discover new books and to see what he has to share about my favorite classics. His videos are a bit rough around the edges, but I still encourage you to give him a try. He’s bound to improve over time, especially if we support him. And we all want our literary booktubers to improve, grow, and thrive. What I really like about him is that he often loves the books and authors I don’t, and vice verse. And yet I still find what he has to say compelling.

  5. For the Love of Ryan

    Another YouTuber who loves to discourse about books. Ryan talks about great writing and great authors. I especially like when he does close readings of short fiction. He’ll provide a link to the story so you can read it before finishing his video. More recently he has been doing a reading challenge and livestreams. You can see Ryan’s passion for literature on his face when he’s talking about his favorite authors. Like most amazing book nerds on YouTube, he could use more support. So, for the love of Ryan, check him out.

  6. Write Now Podcast

    Hosted by Sarah Rhea Werner, this podcast is all about the the writing process and the author. Broken into two types of shows—interviews and monologues—you’ll easily find an interesting episode. I personally love her monologues. Hearing Sarah give advice and reflection on the writing life gives me a boost when my inner-muse is feeling lethargic. The Coffee Break episodes feature authors Sarah has interviewed. You can even find an interview with me somewhere in the archives. Out of all the shows on my list, I’d say Write Now is the most open to all types of readers and authors.

  7. Entitled Opinions

    Hosted from the campus of Stanford University’s KZSU radio station, this program is all about life and literature. Entitled Opinions may have a pretentious name, but the expertise of the host and those he interviews give the title another meaning, one that speaks to a lives lived in pursuit of knowledge and deep learning. Not all shows could get away with a name like Entitled Opinions, but this one most certainly can. The show revolves mostly around literature, philosophy, and art with occasional forays into science, politics, and other topics that anyone interested in the world them will also enjoy.

  8. The Virtual Memories Show

    This podcast was recommended to me in my Literary Fiction Writers group on Facebook by a friend of the podcaster. The first season is pretty bare bones, but it picks up quickly from there. Interviews, literary readings, and literary ramblings are in store on this show about books and life. Episodes are currently listed at the bottom of the home page.

  9. C21 STL

    This seminar-related podcast was founded in 2018. Sadly, it only has four episodes, but I kind of love it. It’s generally a Q&A format covering a range of contemporary literary topics. It’s student-led, having different interviewers running each episode. This might be why there’s not too many of them up yet (no one particular host whose vision runs the thing). So take a listen and maybe even contact Melanie Micir at mmicir@wustl.edu to ask about upcoming episodes.

  10. Shaelin Writes

    This YouTube channel is an amazing source of writing advice. If you’ve ever wanted to know about the how in writing fiction, this is a great resource. From plotting to editing, from developing characters to incorporating flashback, this channel has some practical advice for all writers. Now there are probably tons of great writing channels out there on YouTube, but I’ve gravitated to this one because she’s so often focused on aspects of the writing process I either don’t think consciously about or don’t use at all; I find it intriguing, plus it gets me examining what I typically do by instinct.
    You’ll also find a good mix of recent reads and writing vlogs on this channel, so you’ll not only get advice but also get to know Shaelin along with receiving some great book recommendations.

Literary Listening

I do have a list of about 9 other podcasts and programs I want to check out. As I listen to these and make my assessments, I’ll add them here if I like them.  If you have any recommendations, please do share them in the comments. I promise I will give them a gander.

Remember, if you can’t feed your brain books, book talk is a great alternative. Goodnight and happy listening.

Dreaming Your Characters

Dreaming Your Characters

It finally happened. I’ve heard of it from other writers, but I’d never had the experience myself before now.

I dreamed my characters.

Not only that, but I was writing them. It was an odd, but thrilling experience.

dreaming woman

When we dream, our brain does this thing we call sleep spindles. As tuck.com describes them: “sleep spindles are sudden bursts of oscillatory brain activity . . . that occur during stage 2 of light sleep. These brainwaves are called sleep spindles because of how they look when printed out on an EEG reading.”

Scientists have linked these sleep spindles to areas of the brain that have been used during the day. So if you do a task for a prolonged period of the day like sewing, teaching a class, shooting hoops, mindless factory work, or writing then your brain “practices” this activity at night in your sleep, giving you sleep spindles in the exact same area of the brain.

Those who sleep talk are oftentimes acting out their sleep spindles. My wife, for example, is a frequent sleep-talker. She is almost always teaching, admonishing kids to quit goofing around, or gabbing with other educators in her sleep.

I imagine that since I’ve been writing even more each day than last year, that my brain has been spending ample time exercising my writing muscles while I sleep.

Dream Catcher

Here’s the thing about sleep spindles and your sleep talking dreams: you shouldn’t be able to remember them. It’s only your rapid eye movement (REM sleep) that you remember. These are typically the more exciting dreams where you’re trying to find something, accomplish a task, get somewhere, are maybe flying, or (if it’s a nightmare) trying to get away from something. In fact, when we talk about dreams and dreaming, we’re almost always talking about REM sleep.

So, while I’ve been brain spindling it up with an increase of 2 to 3 more hours a day at the writing desk this year, it’s still surprising to see my characters come to life in my dreams. While it’s most likely that I was in REM sleep, just the manner of my dream makes me wonder if I hadn’t somehow managed to remember a sleep spindle dream. If I did, then my writing sleep spindles look pretty cool.

sleep spindles

I won’t give every detail, but here’s the gist of the dream: I was dreaming about two of my characters—the two which are the principle characters of the current chapter I’m writing.

Jazzy and Miles were at a white wrought-iron table in an outdoor cafe, and Jazzy was being offered alcohol. I wasn’t in the dream, but I could hear myself narrating what was happening in exactly the same manner that I hear myself think when I write. The scene had to do with whether Jazzy would accept the alcoholic drink or not due to her Christian beliefs which don’t forbid alcohol but do frown on it in practice.

Then my dream switched to a scene with Maha and a more minor character. It’s a parallel scenario with Maha at a wooden table in at a bar and restaurant in the heart of Delhi. In this scene, Maha is having the same issue, except her Islamic beliefs don’t allow her to drink alcohol at all. I again hear my voice narrating the scene and the actions. Like with Jazzy, I can see my character fully, both from a distance and up close. Her face is troubled because she’s in a delicate situation of appearing rude if she doesn’t accept the drink but will be sinning if she does.

Then, suddenly, a line comes to mind that has to do with Miles back at the previous scene. The dream jumps over to Jazzy and Miles who are sitting at the same outdoor table. This one beautiful line flows out of me so intensely that I see it being written in my handwriting at the bottom of the scene below their table. I don’t see my hand, I just see the words appearing in my unique chicken scratch. After this, the dream goes immediately back to Maha’s dilemma, and I wake up right before I’m about to narrate what she decides to do.

Note: neither of these exact scenes appear in my book, but the characters I envisioned do exist in my mind. What was so cool was that they appeared exactly as I picture them. In fact, they seemed even more vivid and lifelike in my dream than they do when I’m writing their story. They looked much more human. The sweat on their brows, the pores on their faces were all clear when the dream was examining them closely.

It was a crazy positive experience that tells me I’m doing something right. And that thing is writing. If I’m writing enough in the day that I spend time writing in my sleep, this means I’m really giving myself over to the thing that I want to do with my life, which is bring a book into existence through words in my mind being transferred onto a page.

Let me know if you’ve ever dreamed about your characters in the comments below.

book and brain

Notes:
All photos except the sleep spindle graph are from Pixabay. The graph is from Goodnights.rest
I also want to make it clear that sleep spindles appear to do more than help us learn. We’re actually still learning about them. Sleep has always fascinated me, and I think sleep spindles and the unconscious processes of learning are some of the most amazing aspects of unconsciousness—even more interesting than REM sleep. What I’ve written above is what I remember about sleep spindles. So do your own research to see what’s new and what other studies might have to say in agreement or opposition to sleep spindle learning.

Holiday Book Haul 2018

Holiday Book Haul

HOLIDAY BOOK HAUL

Book Haul 2018

The holidays are over, and I got a few new books. First up is Osamu Dazai’s No Longer Human. This one was given to me by my wife. It was the only book on my holiday wish list I actually received. We started a new tradition this year where we exchange books on Christmas Eve and spend an hour or two before bed reading our gift. I got her Hello Universe by Erin Entrada Kelly. We’ve both already read our novels! Libs will be adding hers to her Middle School classroom library. Mine will be finding a space under the D’s on my shelves.

The next two, from my in-laws, are by Madeline Miller, The Song of Achilles and Circe. I hadn’t heard of these books before, but my librarian mother-in-law insists they’re getting a lot of attention in the literary world right now. I’m sure I’ll get around to reading these at some point long after they’re either cemented into the literary canon or are a forgotten fad.

The fourth one is Whose Names Are Unknown by Sonora Babb. This was given to me by my best friend, Michael Convery. It’s a book I discovered from this article about how John Steinbeck stole from Babb’s notes to help write The Grapes of Wrath. While it wasn’t on my wish list, I did tell him I wanted to read this novel, so was not surprised when it landed in my hands right before Christmas. For Mike’s gift, I bought him a Swedish translation of Gravity’s Rainbow. It’s a bit of a novelty item, but he was really pleased with his gift. He’s been studying the language recently, and he usually explores languages by translating poetry. I figured a favorite, huge novel in Swedish would be equally both a surprise and appreciated.

The last one is Latin Verbs, a book that my mother-in-law was culling from their family library. I have studied Latin on and off for fun, so I totally appreciate this gift. Maybe 2019 will be my year of Latin??? Though from the looks of my daily schedule, I have my doubts (Just trying to be realistic, ya know).

I would have time to study Latin if I didn’t wish to prioritize reading over straightforward studying. I read a lot of books. Way more than my goodreads page would have you believe; I never listed all the books I read or was reading when I was actually active on goodreads. While I want to get back to studying Latin again, writing will be taking up both daytime and evening hours this coming year. And I won’t trade in study for reading at this point in my life. In fact, I want to read even more books in 2019 than I did this year.

It’s always been a goal of mine to have a big personal library from which I could choose a wide range of authors. If you’d like to support me this dream, you can also buy me a used or new copy of a book. (When selecting the shipping address, don’t accidentally select your own. My masked address will appear under your “Other addresses” section.)

Of course, the best way to support me is to buy a book of mine from Amazon or from your favorite bookseller (Descriptions of Heaven, my one book for sale right now, is never unavailable to buy; if Amazon says out of stock, it simply means out of warehouse copies . . . Barnes & Noble and the publisher carry copies too). The second best way to support me is to leave an honest review if you liked the book. But if you still want to do a little more between book releases, make sure you’re subscribed and gift a book to me, the GreenGuy.

Thanks for all the support! Happy New Year, bookworms!

Bonus: 

I got this book of poetry before Christmas, and tweeted about it already, so I decided to add it as a bonus at the end of this Book Haul post. The book is Blud by Rachel McKibbens. This one also came from my mother-in-law who, like a good librarian, is always introducing me to new and interesting literature.

Blud by Rachel McKibbens

 

 

Things I Thought My Mother Said

Things I Though My Mother Said

This week’s dialogue is “Things I Thought My Mother Said,” which is about the relationship a girl has to painful memories of her mother. (Gee, I’m starting to see a pattern here). This story twists the issues explored in “Tarnished Time” in a new direction. I’ll let you all know when it gets published. You can find more info on my dialogue writing challenge here.


This week in my life I:

  • did a lot housework I’d been putting off, including filing paperwork that piled up while the office was in transition.
  • finished shelves my books. Yes, my library is completely put together! With two new bookshelves that I helped my lovely put together, we now have a fantastic looking home library where the lion’s share of our books can live.
  • met a pastor who’s also an author. He was doing a street survey, which I’m sure was an evangelistic tactic. Our conversation would have continued on a little further had not a homeless man started cursing at the priest and his crew, paranoid that they were going to get him in trouble, and also crying because he didn’t know where he was going to stay (my wife and I had given the homeless guy a dollar earlier, as he need 75 cents more to afford a meal). I gave the priest my business card, so hopefully we can continue our conversation about the meaning and purpose of life over email.
    Baby Naked Breast Act Female Nudes Woman Mama